Reflections...

...dude, I need me some serious lessons!! I'm really hyped about my new page, yay! Self taught html-ing, lol...I hustled, too but I think I must have a teeny weenie bit of male genes coz I really dislike asking for help or directions, it honestly makes me feel like I'm just being a bug & I could do it myself if I tried hard enough and it kinda affects my ego, too...lol...nyway, atleast if this page looks crappy, there's no one else to blame but moi...:) Oh well, it's my first trial anyway and I'm not a computer scientist or whiz so sue me if it's ugly, I like it, lol...I'm even startin to get all defensive, paranoid!!! Haha!

Anyway, I really had a ball today, way more productive than yesterday ofcourse...I fixed this up (learnt a ton about url's & html's & all sorts of computer terminologies) then studied quite a bit, which is very unusual- so sick of school, like really a 2 year diploma should be enough, sometimes I don't see the point, all these years of school, that may sound ignorant or shallow or whatever but really, I feel like everyday is a learning experience anyway, so what's the point? And what better way to learn than to do it hands-on instead of listening to a boring prof go on and on about stuff u'll probably never even need in the future anyway...school is so totally pointless after a certain number of years, lol...I guess it really isn't but hey, if it makes me feel better...

I went swimming today, too in after what seemed like eons...geez, since last summer I think...anyway, I actually had a good time, wading in the pool, I'm such a terrible swimmer like I pretty much doggy paddle and that's the extent of my skills...I had a good time though even in spite of chickening out on one of the slides which was quite a shame, man, all these lil kids were looking at me like, what the?? Msiu, I just gave them a mean stare and walked back down the million stairs, trying to keep my head up...tsk, tsk, I need to get me some lessons...

I've been goin thru a kind of spiritual low and I've decided it has to do with skipping church last week, not on purpose but I just cudn't make it and boy, does it ever make a difference...church is totally renewing, every time I go, I just get that extra strength to make it through the week, I guess the whole atmosphere is just so spiritually charged that it can't help but rub off on u, if u believe ofcourse!

Can't keep my eyes open any longer, musta been all the dog paddling, love & God Bless y'all!

**A lil inspiration, Daily word**

The peace of God is the source of my serenity. I am strong, calm, and assured. Thank You, God, for the peace that resides at the very core of my being. This reservoir of peace is a source of serenity that blesses my every experience. In a quiet moment of reflection, I let my thoughts be of inner peace. After only a few moments in the silence, I feel strengthened, calmed, and assured. My prayers go out to anyone who may be experiencing stress or tension today. I envision strength and serenity for all as transformations take place in their circumstances. May they be open to Your peace guiding them in every needed way. Your peace, God, upholds me and sustains me. I give thanks for the serenity that fills my soul and overflows into my life.

"Peace I leave with you; my peace I give to you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled, and do not let them be afraid."--John 14:27

Posted by Kanyana at 11:02 PM | Permalink | Comments

K, today I thought I'd do a "real" blog about my day and also a couple things I was reminiscing about elementary school, real funny looking back on it now! K, I had an absolutely blah day, you know one of those days that you wake up and know right from the start that it's going to be a really long day...all I've done is pretty much browse websites and chill on the couch watching TV, what a waste of a day, huh...couch potato kweli...I started bright and early, too...lol, right from Oprah @ 9 all the way till Days of Our lives @ around 1 ish, what a couch potato but I'll use my 3-day and going strong sore throat as an excuse not to feel too guilty!!

On a completely different note, I am so home-sick, I can already tell this entry is going to be all over the place, I think I have some sort of undiagnosed form of ADD coz when I'm writing seriously I can never stick to one topic, oh well...nywho, as I was saying, I am so totally home-sick, I dream of home, talk of home, think of home, it's crazy, I really hope I can make a trip therre soon, maybe even for good, hmm, I wonder, guess I'll leave that for another day's blog coz it's a real dilemma...

I can't believe I'm still lying on the couch, I did have breaks off it in between though but today has been bad, I haven't even signed on to messenger to chat which I usually so happily do when I can, like now, lol...I don't even have an ounce of energy and it's not coz I'm feelin crappy either, I just don't feel like it, maybe this non-stop downpour has something to do with it, this place is so dreary, and it's supposed to be spring, guess I have a case of spring blues, sigh again...lol, u can tell I'm totally wallowing in self-pity, hehe but what the heck, if I don't feel sorry for myself, who will? LOL, I hope tomorrow is better though...

K, about that trip down memory lane, today I was thinking and laughing to myself over all the exciting things we used to do back in primary school...from the field trips to school concerts to sport's days...I don't think I thought of it as fun back then coz school was just school but now that I look back on it, it really was a blast...I remember this one time we did a commercial for Energizer batteries, too cool and the trips to the National Theatre for music, dance & drama competitions, watchin plays and all, so much fun...field trips were just the best, the ones that really stood out were at Kampala Parent's, visiting the Coca-cola factory and drinkin pop till we got sick, rallying the bus drivers to speed so we'd be the first to get back to school, oh man, fun stuff...then my crazy Primary 6 year where some boys once brought alcohol to class and the whole class got punished for it...then Kitante with it's humongous ampitheatre, the rocks, geez, I was terrified of that area, the museum, doing cross-country runs, oh man, it's endless, I cud write all nite, it was such a blast though, I miss it...I'll have to do a part 2...my bed is callin now, the couch's gettin old, hehe...

Love & God Bless!

Posted by Kanyana at 4:34 PM | Permalink | Comments

"What would you attempt to do if you knew you could not fail?" -- Dr. Robert Schuller

"While one hesitates because he feels inferior, the other is busy making mistakes and becoming superior." -- Henry C. Link

Fear is one of the greatest impediments to self-realization.

To let go is to let go. You cannot sell your old car and keep it too.

A missed opportunity is not bad, it simply means that more time on your part will be required while the arranging of the next opportunity is put in motion.

The Future:
I shall walk eager still for what Life holds. Although it seems the hard road will not end? One never knows the beauty round the bend.

The optimism which is necessary in order to make things happen in your favor lies entirely within your grasp. Your whole future depends upon the attitude with which you approach it. Make that attitude the most positive one imaginable. Remember that your future is everything and that you have the power to make it as bright as you wish.

HUMBLE yourselves before the Lord, and he will lift you up. James 4:10

This is how we know what love is: Jesus Christ laid down his life for us. And we ought to lay down our lives for our brothers. 1 John 3:16

Do not let this Book of the Law depart from your mouth; meditate on it day and night, so that you may be careful to do everything written in it. Then you will be prosperous and successful. Joshua 1:8

Show me, O Lord, my life's end and the number of my days; let me know how fleeting is my life. Psalms 39:4

Posted by Kanyana at 9:53 PM | Permalink | Comments

Salvation is a daily experience, not a once and for all type of thing like most people seem to think it is...It's about dying to oneself every single day and needing to meet with Jesus daily...I picked up pieces of this message from one of Billy Graham's old ones on 100 Huntley Street awhile back and it blessed me immensely....I was greatly challenged to see that even a renowned evangelist like him needs to meet with Jesus daily and constantly renew his faith, I thought of it like wow, he does that and yet I, a stumbling Christian, who truly needs to grow in Jesus much more doesn't...nyway, I think it would be ideal to even meet with Jesus every micro-second of our lives because honestly if u really look at it in terms of an eternity of either being with or without Him, then it makes u think twice about wanting to spend every teeny, weeny micro-second in, with, thru & for Him...

Billy Graham was saying, we can't rest on yesterday's experiences, we have to ask ourselves, "what did God do for me today?" And, what can I do for Him today? We have to submit ourselves to the will of God daily, meet with Him daily in order to grow, in order to strengthen our armour, inorder to remain strong in the battles we face daily! The devil is so not our friend and he will continue to fight to try and make us his...he's not stupid, he knows that we are God's children and hates it...he is cunning and tricky and tries to ensnare and trap us, make us think we're not worthy of being God's children...sometimes we tend to underestimate the power of the devil, or even kinda pretend to ignore his existance but he is there and he's fighting for souls as badly...the good news though ofcourse is that GOD is always there for us, we only need to seek Him and we will find, ask Him and He will answer, knock and the door will be opened unto us....we need to do this on a daily basis, too...seek His Holy Spirit everyday inorder to stand firm and not waver & ofcourse in the first place, accept that He is Lord and that Jesus-our saviour, died on the cross to save us...

My life testimony is quite a loadful so I won't indulge y'all in all the details now but one thing is for sure, I don't want to live a lie anymore, I've been struggling to make it right with God and always failing, always making empty promises, wavering, stumbling & falling but thankfully, He has always been there...His love unconditional, patiently waiting for me to make up my mind and realize that I need to be FREE, free from all bondage of sin, free from my past (even that as recent as yesterday), free from my guilt, free from COMPROMISE, free from all the sin and evil that the devil has so happily wrapped around my life...Jesus, the only way, truth and life...no one comes to the Father but through the son...Jesus died on the cross for my sins, it's like I need to say that over and over in my mind, so that I don't forget it like I have so often done...to remind myself that I need to live for Him every second of everyday, whether it's convienient or not, whether I'm happy or sad, come what may, He is mine and I am His and I'm NOTHING at all without Him!

We also seem to forget that we must fear God above all, because as much as He loves us unconditionally, He can also get tired of calling our name, He could decide to stop patiently waiting for us to see the light, punish us for not heeding His word, so we always have to listen when He calls lest He refuses to hear us when we call...on the otherhand, I don't know anyone that has the patience, LOVE, mercy, forgviness, kindness, peace but our father in heaven, and I of all people, a first-hand sinner should know because I wudn't be so happy and so free after all that I've done against His will, denied Him and all sorts of abominable things...He is a merciful God and I will praise Him for as long as I live and share His word coz everyone needs to be FREE, besides, it's FREE...how cool is that? Jesus paid the price for me, for you, for all of us, so salvation is a free gift that once you accept sets you free! WOOHOO!!!!!! There is no explanation for the feeling of complete peace and wholeness that only God can give u...

Like Billy Graham said, you can't change your past-the good or the bad, that's a journey, your life journey BUT you can let GOD help you change your future! And that's forever, an eternity...
Ephesians 2:4-7 "When we are engaged in spiritual battles, we fight from a position above coz we are with Christ!" We are children of God seated with Christ-we have AUTHORITY, the armour of God and the name of Jesus Christ as our badge of authority, we're overcomers, we have overcome and we have to finish off on what Jesus started here on earth, we have to be the body of Christ now, do what HE did, what we can do anyway...visiting the sick in hospitals, prisoners, feeding the hungry, clothing the naked, giving away our LOVE, our TIME, the list is endless...I'm always ridden with guilt when I read that chapter in the Bible where Jesus says, I was hungry and u never fed me, naked and you didn't clothe me, in prison and u didn't visit me and the whole rest of that chapter...I'm sure those words will haunt a lot of us one day when we come before God...we do have now to change that though, all it takes is a commitment to do atleast one of those things, how many of us have closetfuls of clothes, shoes, that we really cud do without, I know I do...or how much do we spend on drinks and clubbin and all that useless stuff that will never add one cent to the riches we need to be storing up for in heaven...anyway, I know I have to change my lifestyle, I have to get out of my comfort zone and live like Jesus wants me to...I pray that God gives me the strength and courage to do so and that y'all can, too! Love & God BLESS!!!

Posted by Kanyana at 8:49 PM | Permalink | Comments