Reflections...

I got the idea to write about this after reading the breakup chronicles which I heard about on the Tyra show and also a couple of girlfriends callin me up all week with similar problems about love and relationships so as soon as I read the website, it definately clarified my feelings about bad love...

Abusive love, neglectful love, unrequited love, the list is endless...the kind of love that makes you chase after it, the kind that makes you think you're not quite good enough for it, that makes you think that maybe if you keep at it, you just might get it, the kind that makes you revert back to a more insecure you, or that's tricked you into thinking that's how it's gotta be...a love where you're biased about who you really are, your self esteem, your body image, one that makes you feel the need to be or look a certain way in order for it to work, one where your man makes you think or actually maybe even tells you that you have to look a certain way, be a certain weight just to be with him, like really? If your man isn't ready to love you for who you really are regardless of your weight, unless it's a health issue maybe, is he really worth it? Or if you feel the need to chase after love, is it worth it? Some may argue that it is but in most cases, I think not!

Or the love that's based on what you have and not who you are, those male version "gold diggers", and Kanye has now made that term seem like it refers to only women, puhlease when there's all these men who'll only date you for your money, or the type of car you drive or the fame or social position that you hold especially today when ladies aren't doing too bad for themselves, women's emancipation and all, which is great but kinda tends to attract those oh so good for nothing men who are literally looking for a free lunch and are so not worth it...I could go on forever about the different types of bad love, men and situations but all in all, when you think or have to lose weight or drive a posh car or make more money or gain fame or compromise who you are, etc, before you're deserving of love then that's love gone terribly wrong- bad love!!

Like one of the editor's on the website pondered how and when did we all get the notion that love is hard, difficult, painful, combative?? Is it something we've seen in our past growing up? Or is it learned behavior that we've picked up from the "real world"?? Well, regardless of its origins we need to put a stop to it, we all need to break up with that voice inside of us that tells us we're not worthy of love, of just being who we are without trying to be someone else, that voice that makes us think if someone is just not that into us, then it's somehow our fault, that makes us think we have to change who we are to please the other person, to be in love, or that we have to compromise our beliefs, our entire being all in the name of "love", the voice that tells us love is pain or pain is love and that's okay, that voice has really gotta go...relationships do take work and are sometimes hard, difficult and painful but LOVE? No, Love doesn't have to be like that!!!

Speaking of bad love and men, on Good friday ironically, a day that sums up the essence of pure real good love at it's best, a day when we remember how a man like no other selflessly lay down His life for us, one whose love so unconditional gave His life to save us...I've been confused actually about this whole Easter thing and whether to celebrate it or not after reading articles on how all these Religious holiday dates originated from pagan worshippers way back in the day but I guess the issue of the dates and all is really trivial compared to the meaning of the events that took place, like today where regardless of whether the date is wrong or not, it is a time to remember the perfect gift from the perfect man that we ought to be thankful for everyday!! Thank you Jesus for lovingly paying the price for our sins, dying on the cross so that we could live and be free!!! I love you!!

And with that, I wish you all a Happy Easter!!! Peace & Love!!!

Posted by Kanyana on Friday, April 14, 2006 at 11:50 PM | Permalink